When you truly consider the weight-loss process, the battle waged is
mostly in your mind. "Should I eat the corn muffin with butter or would
it be better for me to have margarine or better yet, have jelly? What
am I doing eating this muffin anyway? It's so caloric and filled with
saturated fat. I'm such a pig. I have absolutely zero willpower." It's
no wonder you'll eat that muffin with the butter and slather jelly on
top to quiet that negative self-talk.
What
you need more than a diet is a way to shift those negative
self-defeating thoughts to more adaptive, positive self-statements. As
with most things worth doing, this requires a bit of practice. First,
become aware when you're using a negative statement, then determine what
about that thought is faulty and finally, replace it with a
self-defense response or coping thought.
In the corn muffin example, instead of listening to "I'm such a pig"
which clearly mislabels who you are, respond with "Pigs are animals and
I am human. I don't have to be perfect."
Many people cannot
change their eating habits until they change their thoughts about food,
eating and drinking. By shedding "distorted" thoughts and replacing
them with productive ones, eating habits can be changed. It is possible
to rid yourself from many self-critical thoughts, but like any ingrained
habit, it takes vigor and vigilance to change. Here are some other
thinking distortions to challenge:
Shoulds. Should statements are
more about other people's values, not ones chosen by the person who
wants to lose weight. Additionally, should statements reflect an
attempt by the dieter to motivate herself without really believing in
the value. Better to determine what works for you. "I will eat up to
two Hershey kisses daily and thoroughly enjoy them."
All-or-Nothing.
This kind of reasoning is the foundation for perfectionism. An
all-or-nothing individual views the world as black or white. Since there
is no allowance for gray areas, the behavior is either perfect or a
failure. "I've ruined my diet by eating all that pizza. I can't stay
on a diet and I'll just always be fat." Maybe the problem does not
arise from the behavior... maybe the problem is with the diet that does
not allow for pizza. "I do not want to give pizza up for the rest of my
life, so what I need is a way to include pizza in my diet without
feeling like a failure. Let me try having a salad (dressing on the
side) before the pizza to take the edge off my hunger."
Good
Foods/ Bad Foods. If the truth be told, foods do not misbehave. Foods
are not good or bad. While it is true that some foods have more
nutrients or are more fiber-dense than others, all foods can be enjoyed.
How we think about food colors what we eat and how much we eat. If a
food is labeled as bad (such as fries), then for many individuals that
food is taboo. When one eventually succumbs to eating the forbidden,
French fries, bingeing may result. Rather than continue with
dichotomous thinking of good food/bad food, shift to allow space for all
foods you like without judgement. Instead of "I ate those fries which
are so bad for me" to "I really enjoyed that small portion of fries.
They really satisfied me."
Body Distortions. Rather than dwelling
on how fat or thin you think your body is, it is extremely helpful to
view your body in terms of what it can do for you. For example, when
you look in the mirror, instead of zooming in on your stomach which
"looks five months pregnant, although your last baby was nine years ago"
tell yourself "my body has given life" or "my body enables me to go
where I want to and allows me to have fun."
The conversations that
are going on inside your head cannot be stopped. However, what you can
do is to be aware of negative self-talk and understand that it has
little to do with actual reality. When you believe this, you can
respond to the critical voice with a more objective, coping thought.
Although negative thoughts may not be stopped entirely, they can be
quieted by listening to your compassionate, caring voice. In much the
same way you would sympathize and listen to a close friend, listen to
yourself. Be your own best friend and chances are you'll have greater
weight loss success.